Tuesday, 26 January 2010

The Old Has Gone, The New Has Come

I'm supposed to be back to the US, according to my original plan. But you know, plans don't always pan out the way you plan them, if ever...

I quit my job at the Japanese school. The best decision yet. I had been afraid of leaving and the place was getting more and more comfortable to leave. I was gripped by fear. If I'd let go of my comfort zone, then...

But thank God for giving me courage through my friend Joe Cameron, an excellent teacher and colleague. He had been at the job 3 months and decided that it wasn't for him. I asked if he was afraid of leaving since he didn't have a new job lined up. Now Joe is almost 50. He said, I'm an old man Nina. If I were younger, I would be afraid, but not anymore. Life's too short. I woke up feeling sick in my stomach every morning. When you know it's not for you, it's not for you. Leave. Move on. When I quit my last job, I had nothing waiting for me, and then I found this. Something will come along. Something will always come along.

Joe is known among us teachers as the 'wise one.' He's a Southerner with a baptist background from Alabama and we'd often go to him for advice. He'd spew out a 'quiver of knowledge' and say that 'he ain't no preacher.' Joe knew what he was talking about most of the time. He was always polite even though he disliked someone. I admire that. The strength to control one's feelings. And he smiled a whole lot more after he gave his notice.

A few days after he gave his notice, I followed suit.

Of course, there was conflict at work, but that wasn't why I quit. I quit because I finally found the courage to do it. And that's that. It was the right thing to do.

And of course, parents freaked out. Mom was angry and Dad was worried. But eventually they got over it. I knew I had something else to do, like following my calling.

Teaching will always be there. I still hope someday to go back to teaching, but right now there's something more important like rebuilding Jerusalem's wall here in Thailand. (a reference of which my Christian friends can understand.)

I'm seeing the light now at the end of the tunnel but don't want to jinx it just yet. Once I enter into this light, I'll make a public record of it, but for now let's just say...it is well, with my soul.